You never had a chance to be your true self. The aristocracy hated you long before you emanated. The aristocrats planned and waited for you. Then, they seized upon you, and with invisible chains, clothed you, leaving nothing but a shadow to walk the earth; a faint remnant of what is and what used to be. The real you never had a chance. You have never indeed known anybody in your life, including yourself, your family, your progeny; no one has ever indeed known anybody as nobody has ever known themselves. You are vague, but your true self not forgotten.